


The Idiot's Guide to Modern Tech

by Chioces



Category: Teen Wolf (TV)
Genre: 5 Things, 5+1 Things, Awkwardness, Dating, Fluff, Google - Freeform, M/M, New Relationship, Oblivious Derek, Oblivious Stiles, Texting, iPhones, sterek
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-04-24
Updated: 2014-04-24
Packaged: 2018-01-20 16:44:07
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,847
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1517789
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Chioces/pseuds/Chioces
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Five times Derek texts Stiles and the one time he calls.</p>
<p>or</p>
<p>Not all people should have access to Google.</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Idiot's Guide to Modern Tech

**Author's Note:**

  * Translation into 中文 available: [写给白痴的现代科技指南](https://archiveofourown.org/works/2083011) by [i605](https://archiveofourown.org/users/i605/pseuds/i605)



"This" says Stiles, waving Derek's phone in his face, "is called an iPhone! It can do all sorts of magic things, like send texts. And even, get this," he leans right into Derek's personal space, "send iMessages! iMessages are free text messages..." Stiles leans away from Derek again, scrunching his face into a suspicious glare, “do you need me to show you what a text message is?"

"I know what text messages are Stiles. Give that back," Derek makes a grab for his phone, but Stiles jerks back just in time.

"No. I am turning iMessages on for you. Not for you, actually, for me, for the Pack, for all mankind, not for you. You do not deserve to have iMessages turned on for you. This is basic iPhone knowledge. How do you even!"

He does something on the phone and then there's the clicking of a message being typed. And the little whooshing noise of it being sent.

*

Later when he looks into his sent messages he finds one from him to Stiles. It’s blue instead of green. What the hell did that brat do?

**To Red:**

**_Thank you Stiles for fixing my phone, you are wondrous and truly amazing and I appreciate you being in my life every single day. I adore you._ **

“I did not send that!” Derek growls to no one in particular and frowns… why is the message is blue? He’s obviously not going to ask Stiles how he changed the color of his texts, so, with a put out sigh, Derek pulls out his laptop and loads up chrome. Looks like he’s going to have to do some googling after all.

*

That night he is swamped by messages from the pack.

**From Lydia:**

**_Finally_ **

**From Erica:**

**_iMessage! Wooohooo! This means you have to share EVERYTHING with me now!_ **

**From Jack(as)s-on:**

**_Took u long enuf_ **

**From Scott:**

**_You let Stiles get 2 ur phone, ddn’t u?_ **

**From Scott:**

**_Isaac and Allison say: finally!_ **

*

A week later Derek realizes iMessage is awesome. He realizes this because he looks over his phone bill. Derek takes extreme care with his finances because he is pedantic that way.

Derek decides that Stiles makes his life better.

This means that he should probably keep Stiles around.

Also, if Stiles were around more Derek would need to use Google less. That would be nice. Like really.

And Stiles has managed to stop little old ladies in the supermarket from trying to set him up with their granddaughters. It would seem that after everyone saw him hanging out with a bunch of teenagers he was deemed not so scary and totally family ready, or friendly, as Stiles put it. Now every time Derek goes shopping he makes sure to take Stiles, and Stiles makes sure to hang all over him whenever there is a little old lady in range. If Derek leans in a bit closer and sometimes unceremoniously shoves his nose into Stiles’ hair, well… it’s all for the little old ladies.

Except, maybe now it’s time to make it all for Derek instead, so that he can shove his nose in Stiles’ hair _all_ the time.

With this in mind Derek pulls out his phone and writes a deep and meaningful message to ask Stiles out. On a date. A real one.

*

**To Red:**

**_What’s up?_ **

That was young, hip, cool... right? Stiles will respond any moment now and Derek will lead the conversation to coffee or something. It’s a great plan. Now he just needed to wait for a reply.

Five hours later:

**From Red:**

**_The ceiling_ **

What the hell does that mean?

*

“What the hell does this mean?” asks Derek the next morning at the pack meeting, waving his phone in front of Stiles’ face.

“You ask a stupid question and get a stupid answer,” says Stiles and steps around Derek to talk to Lydia about something in the bestiary.

Derek is not impressed. He spent a whole twenty minutes online goggling: how to ask someone out by text message. And, sure, most of the articles talked about directness and eye contact and confidence, but he had to start the conversation somehow!

*

**To Red:**

**_Hi, how are you?_ **

After a while Derek realizes that Stiles isn’t planning on answering his text. Asking someone out really shouldn’t be this difficult.

*

“Are you mad at me?” asks Derek, climbing through Stiles’ window.

“Nope,” says Stiles, barely glancing up from his homework.

Derek takes off his jacket and plops down on the bed.

“You didn’t answer my text!”

Stiles lets out a frustrated sigh and buries his face in his hands.

“Look,” he says, spinning around to face Derek, “I have finals, and the bestiary to translate, not to mention the fact the Scott has been driving me up the wall with his Allison drama, again! I don’t have time or energy for ‘hi, what’s up’.”

“How are you...” murmurs Derek.

“What?” asks Stiles, a confused look on his face.

“Nothing. Fine. Get back to work,” says Derek.

“You are such a freak!”  Stiles shouts after him as he jumps from his window.

*

That night, after reading his texts over once more, Derek finally realizes what’s wrong with them- they’re not personal enough.

_Ok_ , thinks Derek, _tomorrow I will show him that I’m not just texting him as a friend._

*

**To Red:**

**_I had a dream about you._ **

**From Red:**

**_Creepy. Are you stalking me in your sleep now?_ **

That was just mean. Fine. Two can play that game. He’s just not going to reply, see how Stiles likes that.

*

The next Pack meeting involved swimming. This, in retrospect, is not such a great idea; especially since Derek is ignoring Stiles.

Stiles is sleek and wet and beautiful, and when a water fight (should have seen it coming, really) breaks out he climbs on top of Derek and tries to dunk him. When Stiles dunks Derek it is not because Derek is busy telling himself to push away instead of pull closer. Nor is it because sliding his hands over Stiles’ exposed flesh is more important than really putting up a fight. No Stiles succeeds at dunking him because Derek lets him, because Derek is a gentleman like that. He’s seen rom-coms. He knows how it’s done.

*

Right. What Derek needs is romance. He will send Stiles a romantic text and follow it up with an invitation to coffee… or a curly fries dinner or something.

**To Red:**

**_you look nice_ **

**From Red:**

**_?_ **

**To Red:**

**_Sorry, I just forgot to text you yesterday_ **

There. That’s perfect! Now he just needs to wait for Stiles to reply something like _thank you for noticing_ and the scene was set! Couldn’t seem too eager after all. Google warns strongly against seeming too eager.

*

Next time Derek sees Stiles it’s on the porch of Stiles’ house and he shoves a pot full of soil at him. There’s a teeny-tiny green leaf in the middle of the pot, it sways slightly as Stiles flails, pot in hand.

“What the hell is this?”

“You need to water it once every three days,” says Derek and stalks away.

*

**To Red:**

**_And?_ **

*

Derek is woken up from his nap to a loud banging on the door.

“And?” snaps Stiles, pushing past Derek into his loft, “And?”

“And what?” asks Derek sleepily. What the hell is going on?

“And what!? You spend the week bombarding me with weird ass messages! You dump some plant you can’t be bothered to take care of on me-”

“You don’t like the flower?”

“I don’t- What? It’s not a flower! It’s a pot of dirt! That someone gave to you and you don’t want to take care of!”

“I thought this would be nicer, you could put it on your desk by your computer. Also, who would give me flowers?”

“On my desk?” Stiles looks a little lost, the fight slowly going out of him.

“Google says to try to be original when asking your potential soul mate out…” says Derek quietly.

“You used Google?”

Derek nods.

“To ask me out?”

“Yes.”

“So all those texts where, what? You trying to ask me on a date?”

“Well, obviously!”

“No, not obviously! Did it ever occur to you to just walk up to me and say: Stiles, hi! Would you like to go on a date with me?”

“Google said-“

“Shut up. You are never allowed to use Google again. Ever.”

“I…” starts Derek, but Stiles is already spinning on his heal and storming out of the loft.

“And I’m keeping the stupid flower!” says Stiles as the door slams shut behind him.

If Derek spends the rest of the day humming Frank Sinatra songs, well, it’s no one’s business but his.

*

Ok. So the Google thing obviously didn’t work, nor did the messaging. Time to take a new approach. He uses Viber because Stiles downloaded it for him and it shows that he was willing to expand his horizons, explore new things and follow Stiles’ lead. How’s _that_ for a romantic gesture! Derek is a genius.

Derek finds Stiles in his list of contacts and presses the call button. It rings, and rings, and rings. Just as Derek is about to hand up (this was a stupid idea), Stiles answers.

_“You’re using Viber? Are you ok? Did you break something? Should I send for a doctor?”_ asks Stiles.

“Haha, you are hilarious. I figured out how to use it all on my own as well, so there.”

Wait. This is not how this was meant to go.

“Wait,” says Derek, “This is not how this was meant to go.”

He hangs up (ok, deep breath, he can do this) and calls back.

_“Derek?”_ Stiles asks slowly when he picks up again.

“Stiles, hi!” says Derek, “would you like to go on a date with me?”

_“Ummm… When?”_

When? Ok. What did Google say? Wait, no, he wasn’t allowed to use Google anymore. What would a normal person say?

“Friday. I’ll pick you up at eight.”

_“Sorry, I already have plans on Friday.”_

“Oh-“ Derek doesn’t really know what to do with that, so he hangs up again.

His phone rings.

“What?” he growls into it. 

_“I was just joking! Jeez, you’re so difficult! I’ll see you tomorrow at eight.”_

“Stiles,”

_“Yes?”_

“That makes me very happy.”

_“Good.”_

Derek can hear the smile in Stiles’ voice. It makes Derek grin.

“See you tomorrow, Stiles.”

Wow. That was a lot easier than Google made it out to be.

*

“I’m gonna write you a manual on Google and all things tech related. It’ll have regular updates when new cool apps come out, so that you don’t get lost when I’m not around.”

“Mmmhumm…” says Derek, burying his nose deeper into Stiles’ hair.

“What do you think?”

“Mmmhummm…”

“I’m going to call it _The Idiot’s Guide to Modern Tech”_

Derek jerks his face out of Stiles’ hair and glares.

“Seriously, Stiles?”

“And I’ll have a whole chapter dedicated to-”

“Shut up, Stiles.”

“The pros and cons of-”

Derek kisses Stiles.

Stiles shuts up.

 

 

**Author's Note:**

> I now have Tumblr! yay!!! <http://chioces.tumblr.com/>


End file.
